Wow. its 8:36pm. Both kids are asleep. The house is clean(well, clean enough) and I have nothing to do. And I'm not exhausted. This hasn't happened in sooooo long. Months. It's not that I'm super busy, I'm just at my capacity with what I can manage. I can barely keep up with all that falls under my realm of responsibility right now. That is kids (healthy, fed, dressed, clean, kind), house (relatively clean, organized, yard well kept), church (this doesn't require much), and relationships (being a good wife, friend, sister, daughter, etc.) This doesn't seem like much. Nevertheless, I'm at my max. Most days by this time kids are in bed but the house is a wreck. I spend an hour cleaning up. And then I have about an hour before I need to go to bed. I usually watch TV cause I'm tired and I need an mental escape. And then off to bed. And then it starts all over again....
I'm totally rambling. I don't really have a point to this post. I just wanted to remember tonight. Somehow it all came together the way it should. As a parent, there is nothing better than sleeping children. You can't have any mother guilt while your children are sleeping. You're not neglecting them in any form, you're currently meeting all their needs, and you didn't pawn them off on some poor friend or relative. You are free to have a thought for yourself. Ahhhh. I think my brain just sighed.
silence.
Okay I'm trying to think of what the thought for myself is...my brain automatically goes to kids, family, house, church, car, kids, cheetos, car, STOP! Okay, if I'm going to have a thought for myself what would it be....
I need more thoughts for myself.
You know how when something kind of bad or stressful happens it triggers other bad or stressful things in the universe. "When it rains it pours," that kind of thing. I think we're amidst the rain showers. Not with Dave and Me, luckily we've got one of the few umbrella's to be had, so to speak. But people all around us are facing significant, life changing events. Most have varying degrees of hardship attached to them. I find myself wondering why we're so blessed. I know its so that we can help others bare their burdens. I feel so humbled that Heavenly Father would trust us with that job. We take it willingly. Gosh, I hope this doesn't sound conceited. As I witness all the hurt and despair that so many experience I feel so very grateful for my Savior, that he can help us bare these seemingly unbearable burdens. He heals us. I know with every thing that I am that He will carry our burdens when they seem too heavy to carry, He will heal our hearts more completely and more quickly that we can comprehend. I know this because I have experienced it for myself. Its incredible, a miracle. All we have to do is ask, and be willing to let Him help us. He loves us, He knows us, He knows what we're going through. And He knows what's on the other side. And its good.
I'm grateful for that this Sunday evening. I'm grateful for the blessing of peace and quiet and a clean house so that I could reflect on this incredible gift. Thanks for sharing with me.
Sail Away
3 years ago
