Tuesday, December 6, 2011

2011

Today I had one of those 30,000 foot view moments. I was writing "2011" on the back of an ornament that Sol made at preschool today. 2011. I put it on the tree and noticed another ornament that said 2010 and then 2008, Sol's 1st Christmas. I thought "next year I'll write 2012 on another ornament." Woah. I'm not ready for 2011 to be over! Its gone entirely too fast, as cliche as that is to say. Its contained some truly treasured memories. I'm kind of grasping on to 2011 with two hands. I can't tell you how many times I've thought "I want to write about this on my blog." or "I want to remember how great this was." or "I want to write these thoughts out for the world to read and make judgement on."

Alas. There are only 25 days left of golden little 2011 and I can't get anymore of it back. It goes on. All we have on this earth is time. And it keeps on a-tickin'. Its been a while since I've had one of these 30,000 foot view moments. And I'm grateful for it. But I'm going to miss 2011.

Okay, another rant. So for some reason I really like even numbered years. I decided when I was a kid that good things happen to me in even numbered years and odd numbered years were lame. I could go into detail about how I made this decision but I'll spare you. So I hadn't given much thought to 2011. Instead of setting goals for 2011 I set goals thinking, by 2012 I will...

Surprisingly I really like 2011. Its not because 2011 had many incredible memories, its because I started 2011 in a major funk. My health was in a funk, my mental state was in a funk, my emotional state was certainly funky, and I felt a long ways from healthy. After realizing and accepting my current state I made the decision that I wanted to by healthy. In every sense of the world. I figured by summer I'd be doing much better. However, that was not the case. It took me a few months to get healthy physically. Then I got to work on me. The inside. I say "got to" because it I seemed like stuff surfaced that had to be dealt with, and I didn't have a choice on the 'when' aspect. To make a long story short, in the last month things have finally clicked. I'm feeling strong. I feel "healthy." And I know I can get stronger. But I'm happy that I made the choice to be "healthy." I choose it still. I'm sad 2011 is over because it feels like I just showed up. And all that time I was working through stuff and over stuff is gone. And there were good little morsels in all those months of getting "healthy."

So I'm going to do my best to write down the best parts in the next 25 days while 2011 still exists... stay tuned...

3 comments:

darlajean's dream said...

You Amaze me Megan...I am so proud of you and love your style of writing!!!
You are a survivor...You Go Girl!

nest said...

Oh Megan I thing you are incredibly strong and what a great way to end the year of 2011.

Jean Bean said...

God bless women like you. You are wonderful. And healthy!