Stuck in Nebraska

If weight loss is a journey then I'm somewhere in Nebraska.

How much detail should I got into here? I have issue with the muffin top around my waist line; specifically 20 pounds I gained with my last pregnancy that have essentially not budged for the last 18 months. Of course I want these 20 pound gone. And I realize its just 20 pounds, not 50, not 100, not 200. But its the same darn 20 pounds I've been trying to drop. Well, diligently trying since September. I'm frustrated tonight because based on the way my clothes fit today I'm pretty sure I haven't lost weight since this fall. My clothes have basically fit the same since the fall. However...I'm in far better shape. And my clothes look better on me.... i think.... no one will give me a straight answer.

My "journey" started with my blood sugar getting really bad this summer after I stopped nursing. (I've had hypoglycemia since I was 12) In September I went to the doc, he said I have to exercise 5 days a week, and eat mostly lean proteins, fruits and vegetables. So I consider September the time when I really became diligent about feeling better so that I could be a good mom and wife and a happy person. Well the exercise and diet change DID help me feel a lot better. Blood sugar funk was mostly gone. However....wouldn't you think those kind of lifestyle changes would result in some weight loss?

I don't think so.

Road block #1: This is the biggest one. As soon as I lose any weight I semi-subconciously think I am now able to eat a little "worse" and thus I put it right back on. Then I stop eating a little worse and go back to eating good, mostly. And thus lose a little and I have been on this same damn cycle for a year. No joke. Any ideas how to stop this?! (note: food is a reward)

NOTE: I stopped weighing myself. I couldn't handle the drama caused by the above problem. And my bff swears by it. And she's hot. So I haven't weighed myself since the beginning of December. But I can tell pretty well how I'm doing by the way my clothes fit.

Good nugget #1: You have to keep at it. Just keep on keeping on. Exercise and good eating is going to be a part of my life till I die. Keep going.

Road block #3: Why are a large majority of accessible, common, or delicious foods no good? WHY? I love good food. Not crap. Good food. But a lot of it is no good. Real dinners? No good. Fish, rice, veggies-anyone that loses real weight only eats this. I like eating that but I get so tired of it. Anyone have a better way of looking at it?

Good nugget #2: Exercise with someone else. It helps soooo much to be accountable to someone. I go running with my sweet neighbor at 7am. Its cold and I know she'll be out there waiting for me and if I ditch her I'm a big jerk. I also go to the gym with my colorful friend who keeps me laughing though our whole work out. It goes fast and I get to laugh, a lot.

Road block #4: Sometimes the gym feels like a refuge but lately it has felt like a jungle. It is hot and humid in there. Its kind of stinky. And there are lots of biffs and cupcakes walking around. Boobs and biceps. Blah.

Good nugget #3: A run/walk outside on a warm winter day feels good. Trust me. Bundle up, turn on your iPod and free your mind. It feels awesome.

Road block #5: I already feel like I spend a majority of my day making and cleaning up meals for my kiddlets. I have to feed them, and I have to feed them what they'll eat. I have to make meals that are easy and that we're used to. And we're real gosh darnit! We don't pig out, we don't have lots a treats around, but we occasionally do. I like to cook with new recipes. I avoid cheese fest or fried mess but its not all fish and veggies. So I think this little bit of normal is whats keeping me from budging on my bulge. Is there a way to be "real" and lose the spare tire?

Good nugget #5: V8 is an acquired taste and once its acquired its good and filling and good for you!

What the?!?!: I kind of like my fat. Okay not really but...there is something very comforting about it. I hate the way it makes my clothes fit, the way it feel squished and large sometimes, but for some really weird reason, I kind of like it. I know, what the?!

Hopefully my good nuggets can help some of you on the same blasted journey. But I need help with my road blocks. Especially #1. Anyone have advice? Please! I'm all ears! I want to lose this 20 lbs with a life style change, not a crash diet. But maybe a crash diet would help build my confidence... see I'm out of ideas. I can't just not eat. I have hypoglycemia so I have to snack and eat smaller meals. I need help.

Grandpa's Tie

I took these pics a few Sunday's ago. Sol is wearing my Grandpa Hurst's tie that my Grandma gave Sol after Grandpa passed away this summer. This is my Grandpa. I miss him a lot but I'm so glad we have a little piece of him and one that sol can relate to.

And we have this cute little munchkin to keep us on our toes.

Vertigo=mandatory time off

As Dave and I were finishing up painting our dining room Amherst Gray on Saturday I started to feel a little dizzy. I ignored the issue and pushed on. I still had lots I wanted to do and not a lot of time in the rest of the day. Dizzyness got worse until I had to sit, then lay down. Sunday morning I woke up so dizzy I couldn't walk. In fact a trip downstairs caused me to dri-heave a bit. I was flat on my back the rest of the day and most today. I'm doing a lot better. But I'm really not able to take care of my kids. Doctors orders are to lay down and get as much rest as possible. I thought it would be difficult but its actually been kind of nice. Forced down time. I can't tell you how many times in the last year alone I've wanted to just sneak off to my room and shut the door. I got to do that yesterday AND today! A little more rest tomorrow and then I should be better. I'll enjoy it while I can. Better sign off...the screen is starting to swirl...